Measured

I consider myself a fairly confident woman. I have worked hard to accept myself. Worked harder to love myself. And I walk pretty tall.

I have hips & curves. Smooth lines and bumps. I have stretch marks but blemish free skin too. I have a round belly but hips that match.

Thing is...sometimes I can still forget all of that. Some days I forget myself and fall back into old habits. Usually, something that can be referred to as a trigger will send me into these negative spirals. Today it was a fashion trigger. Today I was measured.

Knowing your measurements is pretty much mandatory if you want to order clothing online. You can think you know your size but each company seems to have their own opinion on what equates a 0 or a 2X, so check their size charts to your measurements and you should be able to order yourself a great fitting item. However taking my measurements this morning to double check before ordering a magnificent dress triggered all sorts of shaming feelings towards my size.

I definitely don't want to use this as a forum to talk about those negative feelings but simply just acknowledge that it happened.  It will happen again. It happens to all of us.
Somehow this is part of our contemporary lives.
For me it is body shamming, but for someone else it could be a different physical feature, a personality characteristic, a work related habit...

Right now the most important thing is for me to recognize that it was a moment and that it will pass. In the end I can like myself once again & remember all the things I am proud of & enjoy when I see myself. Even just writing this post & knowing that at least a few of you will know exactly what I mean, encourages the moment to fade.