I have the most bizarre body type. No, really. I do. I’m 5’8. I’ve been blessed with a long torso (though cursed with a spare tire around the middle) which, I’ve discovered, makes it somewhat easy to fit into long, snug fitting, tunic style tops from ‘regular’ size stores. As you found out in my intro, I worked within the ‘regular size’ fashion retail industry for over 10 years and that gave me the perfect opportunity to inspect fabrics, textures, makes, models and styles in my down time to ‘cheat’ the sizing system and find clothes labelled L or XL to fit my so-called ‘plus size’ shape. This ability or ‘skill’ (as the Fabulous in me prefers to call it) has gotten me through the last few years and allowed me to fill the need for something new to add to my closet whenever the shopping bug has hit.
Outside of my eBay obsession from years ago, I’ve never shopped online for clothing. Ever. Fear of the unknown scares me. (Will it fit when I get it? What if it’s hideous when it’s out of the plastic? What if their sizing is off? What if MY sizing is off?) Shipping prices are outrageous and so is having to wait up to one month for your impulse buy to arrive via mail. Travelling throughout the summer and moving from one big city to the next has given me enough shopping opportunity that I haven’t had to worry about it … until now. Here I am in little Saint John, NB. I relocated less than 2 years ago from Ottawa (My job at the time had me commuting to Montreal every 2 weeks. Note: My Fabulous shoe collection WILL be featured in an upcoming post, that’s a promise!). My closet is officially tired. I rotate through the same 15 ‘work appropriate’ outfits and the same 20 ‘out and about’ outfits over and over again and I. Am. Bored.
It’s time to shop and there is nowhere in Saint John to do so. Online is my only option (Until we’re on the road this summer to Mississauga, Arizona and Boston of course!).
Finding a young, hip, trendy online ‘plus size’ store that carries the style of clothes I like with prices that aren’t ridiculous and ships to Canada is as close to Mission Impossible as it gets. When I come across one, my reaction resembles a 6 year old getting the new puppy they’ve been begging for for months on Christmas morning. Picture LOTS of shrieking, jumping up and down and all around disbelief. (Now that I think about it, this would also be the exact same reaction I would have to getting a new puppy on Christmas morning at 29 years old. HintHintHintHint)
|Em's proof of the texting madness!|
(note the Em to Dom ratio)
Me: OMG!!!! Have you heard of Loop18? Click on it from the Lane Bryant website!
Em: At work now but will check!
Me: Omg Omg Omg. On Loop18 everything is BOGO 50% off and then you save $40 off $100 or $15 off $60!
Me (again): Wait til you see the dresses!!!!!!
Me (again): My next blog entry is going to be these crazy txts I send you when I find an amazing site!!!!
Em (Yes, sometimes I give others the opportunity to respond): Aaaahhhhh you’re killing me!!
Em: AHAHA! Yes! Best blog ever!
Me: (Picture shrieking, jumping, txting crazy lady) doing ittttttt!!!! And dying!!!! I want EVERY dress and I haven’t even clicked on any other categories!!! Kinda pricey but bogo!!!!
Me: (No longer jumping) Ok. Clicked on the other categories and I am slightly disappointed now, no as amazing as I suspected based on ‘new arrivals’ but I still love A LOT!
Em: This is killing me! lol I’ve miss our frantic fashion texting!!
Me: (No longer jumping OR shrieking, about to remind myself why I don’t shop online) Put 2 dresses in my cart and my freaking total is $94. I need 100 to save $40!!!! Nothing else I like!!!
Em: (She’s the best!) Ok I will see if I can top that up for you!!
Me: (Also trying to be the best) I’m wiling to cut down to 1 dress if whatever you get puts us at 100
Em: (Crushing my dreams) Loop18 doesn’t ship to CAD…
<Insert frowny face>
Me: ARGH! (Actually, I said ‘Assholes!’)
Em: Lane Bryant doesn’t as a whole, so I was wondering. Could ship to Calais I suppose?
Me: That makes is SO frustrating and almost not worth it. I hate the hassle!
Em: Frankly.. Me too.
Me: I’d rather wait and go somewhere that I can buy it in person. I’ll keep my $100 and spend it locally on shoes and accessories thankyouverymuch.
What’s the deal, retailers? I FINALLY find what I’m looking for and you make it impossible for me to purchase. Don’t you want my money? I can assure you if my first experience is great, if what I order fits as it should and I’m happy with my purchase, there is a WHOLE lot more $ where that came from!
I’m sorry, closet.